Angry

I'm angry today.  The reasons are....too personal and complicated to get into.  None of you really want to hear them anyway.

What I really want to do is beat the living shit out of someone.  Perhaps a good fight scene would suffice.  I know I certainly do NOT want to write a sex scene.

In the Anita Blake novels her men often turn her anger into lust. That just does not work for me.  When I'm angry the last thing I want is sex.  You can't turn me on when I'm angry. You just can't.  You CAN make me laugh, if you're good, and THEN once the anger has dissipated you can make me lustful.  But I do not have a anger to lust switch.  I wish I did!  Then maybe I could write the fucking sex scene that's supposed to be next.

There is no violence in my story whatsoever. I had intentions to add some but... I just.... I couldn't figure out a way.  Perhaps what creativity I have doesn't go in that direction? And yet right now, I really want to try my hand at it!  I just wish I could figure out a way to make it happen in my story.

I'm also starting to second guess my POV.  Right now I've written the story entirely in first person of my heroine.  I'm kinda wanting to add in my man's POV.  I think it might be interesting to see how they are both hiding who they are, at least in part.... But maybe it can be some kind of great shock when she finds out??

Bah.  I just don't know.

And really, when is a half-succubus female engineer ever going to get into a fight?!

I'm doing flashbacks right now, so it all has to be relevant to how she got to the point in the story I'm all tying it back to.  A fight scene would just not work.  I'm not sure there is a fight scene room in any of my early bits of the story... *sigh*

I mean, this is very boy meets girl, boy fucks girl, girl pushes boy to follow dream, girl turns into monster and runs from boy.

That's my part one all summed up.

I really don't know where I could even add a fight in there. *sigh*

I would LOVE to see Alejandro fight someone though.... but I don't think I can fit it in right now. damnit.

**frustrated**