Sometimes I Borrow From My Life...

This is another excerpt from my Nano novella. Part of it is very true to my life, sadly not the sexy bit. The first time I ever had baklava was at a restaurant called La Luna. They sell baklava... I was having dinner there with a female friend, she convinced me by twisting my rubber arm, to share an order of baklava. Can I just say, wowsa, sooo effing good. I had a foodgasm, and totally embarrassed my homophobic friend. It was GREAT!


I turned that experience, I hope, into something much sexier. I will let y'all be the judges.

Excerpt!

Okay, so I just. I really wanted to share something.  I went with Minxy, the friend that convinced me I really could do NaNo, to the victory party tonight. I was far too shy to read anything I brought.  Also, most of my writing is not child friendly, and there were teenagers.  Most of my writing was either violence or sex basically.... Not PG13... So yeah.

Anyway. Point.  I want to share something.  So you brave few who read get a taste.  Of the four bits I brought with me to the restaurant, this is the one hubby said y'all'd like.

Sharing...

I'm really proud of what I've accomplished.  And I really want to share at least part of it with you, my dear readers.   But I'm unsure of what to share. doh.

I kinda want to share the ending two paragraphs for my main characters, but I dunno if that is actually a good idea.

Bah, maybe I should just leave it the hell alone until after Christmas and then see what I have....  So torn.  I know it's NaNo, and it's supposed to be just an explosion of words... But right now that explosion of words is my baby, and I love just about every bit of it.  Doh.  Clearly I need an editor!

Final NaNo Word Count

56,156 words! 

9,759 of those since midnight last night!

Take THAT NaNoWriMo!!

I'm a Weeeeeeener!!!!

51,079 words!!!!!!

I did it!!!!

Aaaaand, I still have tomorrow to finish the scene and tie in my two story lines!  I'm not sure I can get all of it done, but hopefully most!

Yaaaay!! I did it! I did it! I did it!!

Word Count!

46,397 words total!! 

3,603 words left to go!

But they will have to wait until tomorrow, bedtime now, finally.

Tired

So yesterday I somehow managed to write 3,000 words, in the two hours I was on the GO bus going back and forth from a family function.

It was a long-ass day, and very tiring for me. I went to bed early and ended up sleeping for 12 hours!! o.0  And I'm still tired, so I'll likely need a nap this afternoon.

I'm really impressed with myself though.  3,000 words in two hours is likely a record for me!

This means I have 11,000 words to go.  In three days. oie vey. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but I'm going to try.  And my hubby is being a total slave driver about it. He keeps telling me to write, and write until my eyes bleed. It's totally annoying, and also really nice that he's being so supportive.

Off to write!  Though.. I've hit at impass on one side.  My assassin has finished her job and made it safely home.  Now I'm really not sure what to do with her next.  Do I show her at home relaxing??  Do we catch up with her on her next job??  I don't even know what her next job should be!!  If I'm following my dream, then there's stealing a car, running from the feds, a car chase, a car crash, and my girl walking away with a nasty head wound...  Why she had to steal a car, or why the feds are chasing her I have no idea. I'm not even sure we need to know why she's being chased, but it would likely be a better story if we knew why she was at a convention centre type place, and why she had to steal a car to leave, and didn't have a ride of her own... hrm...

Anyway, that bit clearly has kinks to work out.  The other bit that's the love story, I know where it needs to go, I just think I'm shit at writing arguments.  I'm not very good at arguing in the first place so yeah.. But it doesn't have to be perfect, it's a rough draft!  Even my favourite author says she struggles to get dialogue right, so I'm in good company. :)

Wish me luck!

Maybe I need to throw another random sex scene in there somewhere. ha.

Word Count.

Wrote approx. 4,800 words tonight, in....just over 5 hours?  Really not bad for me!!

36,634 total now, according to NaNo.

14,000 to go now.

o.0

Continuity! It's important!

So I'm writing sex scene number three, and I realise, half way into the next portion of it that I forgot to remove the clothespins! Doh.  I mean, I made such a big thing about setting up a timer, and how you can't leave them on for long.  And then, by forgetting them, I left them on not only while they were snuggling, but while the pin wearer was face down, and having her ass beat! DOH!

Yeah.... So I fixed that! It totally worked out well, it made why whole scene make more sense and be more dramatic and stuff. So yay.

34,000 words. 16,000 to go. o.0  Yeah... right....

NaNo Pep Talks

So, every week, heck, it feels like every few days or so, the folks at NaNoWriMo send out pep talks.  Some are by long time NaNo champs, others are by real, live, published authors.  Most of them are pretty good.  Some have made me laugh, many have made me feel less alone -- I'm not the only one struggling with word count!  But the latest one is just brilliant.

The most resent one, that I just received, made me smile and laugh out loud more than once.  I have to share the closing paragraph because it... It's just that wonderful damnit.

In short, quit. Writing a novel is a tiny candle in a dark, swirling world. It brings light and warmth and hope to the lucky few who, against insufferable odds and despite a juggernaut of irritations, find themselves in the right place to hold it. Blow it out, so our eyes will not be drawn to its power. Extinguish it so we can get some sleep. I plan to quit writing novels myself, sometime in the next hundred years. 

--Lemony Snicket

I plan to re-read this one many times.  I love it.  I love Lemony Snicket.  Heck, I have two of his? her? series even! And it's a kids book!  But I couldn't help myself.  Only lack of funds stopped me from buying the rest.  I really need to get myself a library card so I can read them! Sarcastic, funny, I just love the way Lemony writes.

And I now have some hope where before I had none.  I mean, I do kind of write for myself.  But really, if no one ever reads it, if no one ever likes it, then, well, it feels pointless.  But Lemony made such a good argument against writing, that I totally feel it's possible, someone out there might love my story they way I've loved things I couldn't share with my friends either. lol.  The hope that someone will love my work, the knowledge that that hope isn't far fetched, THAT is what makes me want to continue.  

Wow, that's a really vain reason to write isn't it?  Or maybe I'm just being realistic.  For me, writing can be fun, but usually it's frustrating, hard, fumbling, and sometimes really hot.  But it's work.  It's work that makes me feel like I've accomplished something.  It wakes my brain up, it excites me.  And yet....  I long for an audience.  I want so very much to be read, to have my work read, and liked, maybe even loved.  I have to finished it for this to happen, of course.  But I've been losing hope.  Losing hope that anyone would ever willingly read it. Lemony has given me some of that hope back.

I don't think I'm going to make it...

As of today, I'm 7,000 words down. Again.

This month has really not been kind to me, in terms of my health.  Chronic pain and crazy fatigue have eaten most of my time and energy leaving very little for anything else.

I really don't think I'm going to make it. :(

I'm still going to try.  I have to try.  But I'm so very tired, and so very very sore.  Today it even hurts to take a big breath because my back is so gods damn sore. *sigh*  I'm a pathetic cripple is what.  And I have to go to Hamilton to the doctor's today.  I'm torn between bringing my laptop and not.  I don't know if I'll have the energy to even carry it never mind writing on the bus.

*sigh*

I suck. Bleck.

Word Count

28,833!!

Yay! I'm still a little over 3 grand under, but I made up almost 7 grand tonight!! wooohooo! Go me!!

Hopefully this means I can actually DO this thing.  I have a lot more story to go, I just need to....get writing!

But not tonight, it's very late!

Oh!  And I managed a sex scene that actually turned me on! Yes!! Hopefully I can continue that trend as well!! :)

Sneak Peak

I'm trying something new.  I don't know if it will work. I'm not sure it works now.  I just... I needed a change. I needed a way to channel my anger... so this is what I got:

Meanwhile in Hell.... 

Jazz turned a corner in the maze of an office building, her boots making barely a sound on the carpeted floor. She'd memorized the blueprints of the top few floors where she knew her mark would be. Thank gods too, since this place was all muted grey walls, charcoal carpeting, black tiled floors in the main areas, and ebony wooden doors. It was far too easy to get lost in here. Some of the art that was subtlety lit even looked like originals, not that that was what Jazz was after today.

Angry

I'm angry today.  The reasons are....too personal and complicated to get into.  None of you really want to hear them anyway.

What I really want to do is beat the living shit out of someone.  Perhaps a good fight scene would suffice.  I know I certainly do NOT want to write a sex scene.

In the Anita Blake novels her men often turn her anger into lust. That just does not work for me.  When I'm angry the last thing I want is sex.  You can't turn me on when I'm angry. You just can't.  You CAN make me laugh, if you're good, and THEN once the anger has dissipated you can make me lustful.  But I do not have a anger to lust switch.  I wish I did!  Then maybe I could write the fucking sex scene that's supposed to be next.

There is no violence in my story whatsoever. I had intentions to add some but... I just.... I couldn't figure out a way.  Perhaps what creativity I have doesn't go in that direction? And yet right now, I really want to try my hand at it!  I just wish I could figure out a way to make it happen in my story.

I'm also starting to second guess my POV.  Right now I've written the story entirely in first person of my heroine.  I'm kinda wanting to add in my man's POV.  I think it might be interesting to see how they are both hiding who they are, at least in part.... But maybe it can be some kind of great shock when she finds out??

Bah.  I just don't know.

And really, when is a half-succubus female engineer ever going to get into a fight?!

I'm doing flashbacks right now, so it all has to be relevant to how she got to the point in the story I'm all tying it back to.  A fight scene would just not work.  I'm not sure there is a fight scene room in any of my early bits of the story... *sigh*

I mean, this is very boy meets girl, boy fucks girl, girl pushes boy to follow dream, girl turns into monster and runs from boy.

That's my part one all summed up.

I really don't know where I could even add a fight in there. *sigh*

I would LOVE to see Alejandro fight someone though.... but I don't think I can fit it in right now. damnit.

**frustrated**

Struggle

They, the Nano people, say week two is a struggle, and boys oh boys, they aren't kidding.

I don't think it would be half so bad if I wasn't so gosh darn tired.  I also had/have a really nasty migraine today.  Boo.

Hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow, as I have plans, and Sunday, please gods let it be Sunday, I can get some actual writing in.

At least I have an idea about where to go next in my scene.

Word Count

20,088!!!  

Huzzah!

Cause I feel the need to share.....

A snipet of what my hard work brought me today:

“I'm not made of glass,” I told him. 

“Huh?” He asked so confused he stopped thrusting. 

“Me, I'm not made of glass. You can fuck me harder than that you know.” I said pushing myself back up his cock for all I was worth. 

Alejandro groaned as I fucked myself on his cock. 

“Harder, please..please... Please Alejandro, fuck me.. fuck me,” I begged as I pushed back, grinding my ass against his hard body. 

“Oh god Maddie...” Alejandro broke off, his hands going to him my hips again. 

He grabbed me hard, pulling me even tighter to him, then he pulled out and thrust hard into my body. If it wasn't for his hands on my hips, I think he would have moved me with the power of it. He kept thrusting, hard, and slow. A wonderful, delicious, tease.

By Tooth and Nail -- 18442

I feel like I fought for every word I managed today.  I only got about 2000 words in the whole day. o.0

I don't know as I even have an excuse. I was a little distracted.. but mostly I just... It was hard. This scene was just hard for me.  And I'm still bleeding exhausted from my three days of helping my friend. I don't regret helping her, I just wish it didn't eat at me like this.  I probably should have napped today. Instead I watched Scream 2. lol.  If I can, I may just watch #3 tomorrow.  Somehow, watching the beginning of two helped me find my muse to write at least part of this scene.

Now I just need to figure out where I should go from here. hrm....  My plot outline for this section is very... vague.  I will have to think on that, and review my notes.

Dirty Hot

"What do you like to be called?"

"Daddy."

Yup. That's right.

So hot.

I wish I could use it, but.... I want my heroine to be the one with the Daddy complex.  She didn't *have* a father or a father-figure really, so it's not..... wrong to her.  She grew up wishing she had a "Daddy", big, strong, protector... As she got older, she wanted the same things, only from the man she wanted to fuck.  Realising your daddy image is sexy hot is..... well depending how your bent, it can just be damn convenient.  Getting a man to play daddy for you, that's harder.

ACDC + Codeine.

Today I'm desperate. Mostly, desperate to not hurt.  Yesterday I spent almost the entire day I think with my jaw locked.  I never realise I'm doing it until my jaw starts aching, and I give myself an even worse headache. It's my bad habit for dealing with pain. I'm trying to break myself of it, but it sure ain't easy. So, today, I've taken muscle relaxants, in the hopes that my jaw will relax a little, and some tylenol 2s in the hopes that they will help the headache I've had for the past 48 hours that is the reason I've been clenching my jaw.  When the pain gets so bad I'm nauseous and can't think... yeah, that's where I was an hour ago, and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I'm self-medicating.  But then, it's OTC muscle relaxant, and doc approved pain-killers, so... this is what they are for.

Now I've got ACDC rocking in my amazing, wonderful headphones.  Hopefully I can get through this sex scene and on with this story. Though really, I'm kinda hoping the sex scene is actually interesting. lol.  But I'm too close to it, so I really can't tell one way or the other at this point.

My AKG K514 headphones were only $90(on sale, reg. $120 I think), but they have better sound than most of the $200-$300 headphones I tested. I love, love, love them.  Seriously.
Now.. To the sex... Let's hope I can make it interesting!!